Old Pro Learns an Old Lesson

This isn't so much a blog post as it is a public apology...but I'm not going to name the offended individual, I am only going to hope he reads it and accepts it for what it is...a sincere, heart-felt message to someone I may have hurt.

I tend to get a bit "intense" when engaged in my work. Passions within me are my fuel and my focus is as sharp as the craftsman's blade as he cuts away every bit of matter that doesn't represent what he wants the final product to be. Those are, normally, admirable traits...traits we've learned to respect and emulate in our society.

Until you take it to the extreme.

I took it to the extreme and I'm here to tell one person how sorry I am for doing so.

I got a bit of news yesterday that upset me. I suppose "upset" is the wrong choice of word. I was livid that something this petty should stand in the way of what I wanted to accomplish, what I saw as my duty to complete. My response to my friend was nothing less than a full scale bombing run on his world. Expletives and emphasis were placed with pinpoint accuracy, meant to create the maximum effect in order to make my point.

Oh and isn't that what it's all about...about making the point...about winning the round...

There was no hypothetical "bombing target" at the other end of that email...there was a flesh and blood friend who was caught in the middle of a bad situation who had come to me with the honesty and openness of a child and asked me to please understand his position.

I couldn't have done more damage with a hammer.

Even though I sent a follow-up email assuring him that those surgically-placed expletives were not aimed at him doesn't change the fact that when he read that email, to him, it was nothing less than an assault from someone he least expected it...a friend. As I re-read that email this morning, I was taken aback at the brutality of those words. Sure they were only a "vent" and not pointed at him.

Tell that to the person shot accidentally..."Oh I didn't mean to hurt you..."

Well, my email may have indeed hurt a person I have worked with and respected for a number of years and my only hope now is that I can lessen the impact with this explanation.

Sometimes the task at hand isn't worth the cost of a finger.

I'm sorry my friend...I lost the "human connection" in and between us and this thing I do.

I am truly sorry.

h