Something I've been putting off all day.

It hasn't been a good day in my household.

As I disconnected the phone, which had been on speaker, Diane collapsed into gasping sobs.

I simply sat there....not sure what I felt or if I even felt anything.

My Oncologist gave me the news the best he could.....

The PET Scan I endured two days ago not only revealed live cancer cells on the larynx that had survived radiation and chemo treatments...


They have begun their march into my lymph node.

That in itself isn't THAT bad of news.  Since the spread has just begun, node removal is about 80 percent curative.


But here's where my world turns to shit.

This morning, I was notified by Williamson County that since I have just started receiving Social Security disability payments of $1100.00 a month, I was no longer eligible for indigent insurance coverage.  They did not pay much and their annual cap on any indigent account is 30K a year.....

But it paid my 680.00 monthly medication costs.  So I mentally put a pencil to it:

1100.00 - 680.00 = 420.00

She also, quite sincerely, wished me luck in finding any insurance that would take on a Stage 4 cancer client.

Like I didn't know that.

EDIT:  The strike through below reflects that the Linux Community has banded together and purchased me a monitor that allows me to sit at the computer for prolonged periods without illness.  Previously, a side effect of chemo therapy made me terribly ill if I looked at a back-lit monitor for any period of time.    Thank you.

So....it's been frustrating trying to research my options here.  While I have a decent monitor, I can only sit at it for short periods of time due to a condition caused by chemo therapy.  Anything illuminated by a backlight causes me nasty nausea.  And while there are monitors out there that specifically address this conditon...well, suffice it to say, my medications are more important than a monitor.  I'm not going to be able to afford both.  420.00 a month is a bit tough to live on.  Unfortunately, I am unable to work due to severe radiation fatigue.  That limits my opportunities to a boss that allows two hour naps in the afternoon and a condition that mirrors narcolepsy. 

I did qualify briefly for Medicaid but since I now make "too much money", that benefit has been taken away.  So after another call to my doctor, we are going to be working together to find a surgeon that will do the work pro bono....or whatever a Dr. calls it when he does his work for free.

We've got about a four week window before...well before removing the lymph node doesn't do any good.

I guess "charity" is about the kindest thing you can call it.

At any rate, I can no longer sit here and I believe I've said all I can say.  IF we can find a surgeon to do the lymph node removal, we're looking at the first week of September to get it done.  You have my advance apologies for not responding quickly to any comments or emails.  The eyesight thing is getting worse and I can spend less and less time here.

There have been probably 150 inquiries over the past week as to how things were going here.  I wish it was better news, but it is what it is.  I fully intend to sign off here, go get my fishing pole and drive down to the lake and let the fish steal my bait while I think this thing through and start making plans I really wasn't yet prepared to make.  Then on the 28th of August, my friend Larry Cafiero are going to meet in Houston and take in the 3 game Giants - Astros series.

From there.....we'll just have to see.  Here's hoping to finding a surgeon that has a heart and a hospital that allows him to have one.

All-Righty Then...