Stuff Happens. Sometimes it is lousy stuff...stuff you neither see coming or deserve. Of course, the fact that you didn't see it coming doesn't mean you were blind-sided...
It could mean that you weren't paying attention when you should have been paying attention.
That's where one comes to understand that retrospective "blaming" or becoming a resident in the land of What-If's just stops one from doing the important thing.
Reacting and adapting correctly to that change.
Here it is in a nutshell...and as much as I respect those who've been a part of my life in the past 4 years, this is something that I really don't want to discuss. Not on a "let-me-help-you-get-through-this" level.
I don't want that to sound stand-offish...those that have offered to do just that are some of the closest and most important people in my life...yeah, that's some of you. I'm just not in a place where I want to do it. I thank you for your sincere concern.
I came home from Felton and was told that I was no longer part of our marriage. She asked for a divorce.
Again, nothing I particularly feel the need to talk about. It happened and it's up to me to react and adapt to that change. So I did. Odd the way some things come around.
I accepted just shy of 10 Large from a FOSS friend and went to rebuild a Linux Lab that was destroyed by Dolly.
I got a call from the person that in her own right, started this whole Komputer4Kids/Helios Project thing. Vickie Johnson is the school teacher I spoke with while awaiting to get a flu shot a few short years ago. Vickie accepted a position, or in actuality, a business proposal to start a Montesorri School down on the southern tip of the Texas Coast. You can't get any more "southern" in the United States of America. Just pull up a map and look for Brownsville or McAllen Texas.
That's where I went. Just me. I didn't ask for help because it was something I thought I could do myself. And I did. I didn't ask for money because someone who recently found the Freedom of Linux and FOSS was beyond kind and financed the whole shebang.
That in itself is amazing. It was, as I mentioned, just under ten thousand dollars.
So with a 1994 Izuzu Rodeo and 8 foot trailer full of computers, cable, parts and good faith, I left Austin for the 6 hour drive to the southern-most tip of Texas.
It wasn't an hour after I got there that the construction crew got there and began ripping out the rotting framing and floors. I came right behind them with the cabling, routers, hubs (all inset on platforms within the walls thank you) and splice-points. By the second day, the frame and sheet rock was up and the only thing left to do was wait for the wall guys to finish their part.
Hearing about this effort, two brothers that own a computer store a couple of towns away showed up without notice and offered their help. Their expertise was all the more valuable in that they are Linux Network gurus. I could have hacked a network together, but with their apache skills, it came together flawlessly.
I had brought 12 ready machines from Austin but the majority of the machines were still in boxes and bags. These two guys worked with me for an entire night to make sure the machines were ready to go. We had, what some would argue, an impossible task. We had to get this lab up and running by 8 AM on the 4th of August. When I am allowed to post the pictures, you will see why some thought it to be impossible. The flood waters had come up so high as to leave mud deposits inside the machines that were in place...now good for only metal recycle and landfill materials.
There was no "magic" in the doing. It was hot and after a while you just let the mosquitoes fall off of you from being gorged...so full they couldn't fly away. It simply became too much work to slap them into splatter prints on your skin. The "investors" in the school...the parents of these gifted children, began bringing us food and drinks, a local newspaper stopped by to take pictures and get "the story". I let them take all the pictures they wanted.
I gave them no story.
What do you think I am...? An attention whore?
I suppose you can google it here in a bit and you will find out what you need to know about it. No where will you find the name "Ken Starks", or "Helios Solutions".... Just a guy who requested to remain anonymous.
That was by design and for reasons I will keep to myself. Well, maybe not...
Sometimes finding a way to help others is the best remedy to make stuff inside you stop hurting.
But then again...that would turn this whole thing around and make it a bit selfish wouldn't it?
I'm sure there will be more than one or two of you that will try to make that point. It doesn't matter. It's done, it's Linux and there's nothing you can do to stop it now. Sometimes, I have to ask myself about some of your motives...the last time I checked, doing nothing still gave you a zero result. And that's at best. Sometimes it can put you so far back that there's barely a chance of recovery. Maybe that's what some of you are shooting for. Not many of you actually feel this way...an insignificant handful really. To that small group, I will ask this. Have you heard of Midori?
And really, from my heart of hearts...to those that may feel that way...?
There is an effort in the making now...and you will hear about it soon enough. An effort to bring Linux to Television, Radio and the Glossy Magazine venue. The money is being pulled together as we speak and if everything works right... It will be 5th Avenue-type marketing that makes Superbowl commercials look tame. And no...I have nothing to do with it...but I will. I've been asked to come aboard and work with them. That's how I know what they have planned. Now let's see if they can pull it off.
Some of you are going to have absolute fits...an insignificant handful.
There is a small, dark part of me that gets immense joy from that.
All Righty Then...
Sunday, August 03, 2008
blather and mumbling provided by Unknown at 3:36 PM